Get Your Self OFF The Clearance Rack!
Written By: Mark Smith
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You might have seen this quote recently on Facebook from an anonymous source. It has been bouncing around the Internet quite a bit. I thought that it had some solid possibilities so I thought that I would give it the Mark Smith treatment this week...."If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's YOU who tell people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the clearance rack and get behind the glass where they keep the valuables! Bottom line: value yourself more! If you don't, no one else will! Re-post if you like. You may help someone get off the CLEARANCE RACK!!!" -Quotes of Advice (Facebook)
We believe what we do about ourselves due to programming that goes way back in time and way deep in our psyches. While the Facebook quote has a lot of wisdom, it is a whole lot more complicated than just reading the quote and then immediately valuing your self enough to then live a happily transformed life. Change starts with profound insight. We first need to objectively see who we are and where we're at, even if that information is painful and depressing.
The TRUTH hurts, but seeing it and accepting it is the beginning of your recovery. Where in your life have you exiled your self to the clearance rack? Are you settling for crumbs in your relationship? Are you working for peanuts at your job? Have you allowed your body to morph into something unattractive and clearance rack worthy? You see, you don't just need to change how you think about your clearance rack status, you also need to do some hard work on yourself to greatly improve the value of the product to earn actual real life status as a genuine highly valuable and sought after item. You will need to go into some serious and single minded training in order to get off the clearance rack and get behind the glass with the valuables.
If your relationship is broken, unfulfilling, dysfunctional, disrespectful and otherwise not meeting your needs then you need to go into training called therapy with a personal trainer called a therapist.
It doesn't matter if your significant other is not willing to come with you. You problem is you. You can get to work on yourself without your sweetie being in the room. Your relationship unhappiness is rooted in your childhood woundedness. Nature always brings spouses and lovers who are a hidden version of our parents' most hurtful qualities. That is brutal but I guarantee you that it is the God's honest truth. You can't get someone who is better unless you first get better. You can't spill over and impact your spouse into them getting better unless you first get better yourself. This intensive training program includes many tears, deep psychological probing, reading therapy books, group therapy, couple work, high therapy bills, time devoted to reflection, special time set aside for investing in your marriage, etc.
It might mean a separation. It might mean ending a relationship. It isn't easy. It hurts. We want to curl up in our warm, seemingly safe little world of denial and pretend our problems away. Want more for yourself, yes. Believe in yourself, yes. Dream big relationship dreams, yes. But your getting off the relationship clearance rack will also require excruciating training in healing your childhood wounds, learning to set healthy boundaries, eliminating numbing addictions, resolving bitter old conflicts, learning to be non-reactive in a fight and developing a great many healthy relationship skills that you currently do not possess.
If you want to get off the clearance rack of an under functioning career then you are also going to have to go into training. Yes, believe in your self. Yes, set higher goals and see yourself as more valuable. But then you might need to go back to school and get an additional degree. You will need to greatly improve your passion, your performance and your skill set. Just know this - you are on the career clearance rack not due to the economy, or due to a boss you didn't like you or due to bad luck. As in all other areas of life, you are on the clearance rack due to you own choices. You are your career problem and you are your career solution.
How bad do you want to be successful? Ask your boss what you can do to better serve your company and to get better at your job. Listen to personal development CD's, go to workshops, read books about your field, put more hours in and be more intense at your work when you are there. You can have anything that you want in life. You just have to want it really bad.
If you are going to get off the clearance rack physically you need to get a trainer and you need to get to work. My mirror and my scale were conspiring to communicate a lot more truth to me about my body than I wanted to know. Why do so many of us walk around with so many unattractive, destructive and unnecessary pounds? I recently hired an amazing trainer. He has promised to change my body, my life and my future in 90 days. His gym materializes in my space every single day. He makes painful workouts fun. His name is Tony Horton and his program is P-90X.
You might have heard of it. I love it after week one. I couldn't do much of the yoga yet though. I am determined to get my fat, out of shape 52 year old ass off the clearance rack. I am willing to pay a price. Getting better costs a lot. Being average or below average is easy.
Wanting more and better for your self is awesome. Go get your self a challenging therapist, wise mentors and a rocking trainer and with massive intention and hard work you will gain the direction, growth, healing, transformation and skills to become the healthiest, happiest, most successful, best looking you possible. You will never be anywhere near the clearance rack ever again. Others will value you more because you have cared enough for yourself to invest so much in yourself that you have made yourself indispensable at work, highly sought after in love and a beast in the mirror and on the scale. There is a senergy to getting healthier. When you get healthier in one area you gain the self-esteem, the energy, the focus and the confidence to get to work making the rest of your life better and healthier. Bring it!
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