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A Fraudulent Life
Written By: Mark Smith


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Managing Abandonment  Issues Through Recovery
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This a 'Tyler'. You know this guy. He looks awesome from a distance. He is successful, smart, driven, well educated, respected, wealthy, good looking and friendly. His resume is dazzling. He lives in a million dollar house, has a trophy wife and drives a luxury sports car.

The only problem is that he is a fraud and he doesn't know it. He doesn't have a clue. His whole life has been about looking good, achieving, impressing, being in the right place at the right time, being seen with the right people and collecting trophies. He, of course, was the quarterback on the football team. You know this guy. He's a doctor, a lawyer, a commercial real estate broker. He's a slightly younger version of George Clooney, only in real life. He is Tom Cruise in 'The Firm'. He has a boat. He dreams about a bigger boat. He golfs a lot. He has a lot of white teeth. He is a mini Tiger Woods. He is a great guy by all accounts.

Tyler is not who he thinks he is. He didn't grow up with parents like himself. He grew up poor. He grew up hungry. He grew up not feeling good enough. His dad was an alcoholic or his dad abandoned the family or he worked in a factory. His mother was NOT a happy woman. She was NOT a 'trophy mom'. She was over weight, depressed and angry as hell. She feels victimized by the cards that life has dealt her. She punishes her husband for his ball dropping. They still live in a ranch style home with out dated carpeting and dark paneling. They were an embarrassment to him. Tyler didn't feel loved growing up. In fact, he didn't feel much at all. He had decided on his life path by the time he was 7. He was going to be better than them. And he was. You would never know that a guy like Tyler could come from this childhood. He got a scholarship, he joined a frat, he married the Home Coming queen and he made himself into the man he is today. he deeply resents the money he forks over to take care of his under functioning parents. It seems that everyone wants his money.

Tyler thinks he is a king on the earth but is a fraud. Tyler is a very shallow man. He doesn't know how to talk on a deep level. His wife is extremely lonely. She longs for more of Tyler's attention. Even when he is there he isn't really there. His I Phone blows up 24/7. He spends a lot of time playing poker with his phone. His kids get only tiny snatches of his time. He coaches their sports teams of course but he doesn't have real time for them.

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Women throw themselves at Tyler all the time. He is very discreet but he allows himself an occasional woman. His heart isn't connected to his body so he can do that without much guilt. He has no clue that he is broken. He life is about to self destruct. His life is about to attempt to instruct him. The truth of who you are and where you came from always comes out eventually. He doesn't know that there is a needy, wounded little boy at his core. His money, his press clipping and his legend keep him from knowing the truth about himself. Having it all blow up in his face would be the best thing for him. That time is coming. Having it all fall apart would make Tyler face off with himself for the first time in his life. It could deepen him. It could connect his heart to his body. It could take an image and make a person out of him. Tyler needs some help.

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This article was authored by Family Tree Counseling Associates, a marriage, individual and family counseling center serving the Indianapolis, Carmel, Fishers, Westfield and Noblesville communities in Indiana. If you would like to contact us, please fill out a contact us form or call us at 317-844-2442.
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