A Sign in the Front Yard
Written By: Mark Smith
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'Healing Toxic Shame Through Recovery'
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there is a sign in the front yard
and miles of lonely desert in the bed
I am mocked and utterly defeated by mountains of laundry
my right arm has been severed
spirit bruised and bloody
terrifying papers haunting the mailbox
unrelenting tears washing through me
a brokenness that can't possibly ever heal
walls separate me from what once was
my friend, sweetheart of my youth, my very soul
oh devastatingly dark day
that brought this soul deadening aloneness
I vomit unutterable groans
from my self-inflicted nightmarish place
Divorce is tragic even in 'starter marriages' without children. It is beyond horrific to families, though. So much is lost, wounded and damaged. Stability, hope, finances, spirits, innocence, unity, continuity, warmth, faith and joy are among its casualties. As a survivor of divorce myself, I urge you to guard your marriage more zealously than you protect your diamonds and your gold. A good marriage is priceless. The same folks who regularly maintain their homes and cars often allow their marriages to die from starvation and neglect. Marriage problems are everyone's lot in life. Even happy marriages eventually suffer from dark seasons. Marriage is meant to break you down and force you to take a very long hard look at your stuff. Marriage is the ultimate truth teller about you. The pain in your marriage isn 't telling you that your spouse is a jerk. It is trying to communicate truths about YOU and YOUR family background. You married the right person. They are your teacher. The pain in your marriage is literally shouting for you to get some help. Are you listening? If you could fix this on your own you would have done so a long time ago. Effective marital therapy is about a skilled therapist gathering and powerfully naming truths about you and your spouse. You would be amazed at how helpful and how amazingly life changing effective therapy can be. It is painful to face off with deep, raw wounds rooted in your childhood but that pain pales in comparison with the life shattering pain of divorce. Do get some help. You aren't Superman. It's ok to get some direction. You'll be greatly rewarded with increased knowledge of your self, a deepening of your personality, better communication skills, more grace towards your spouse, resolution of old nagging issues and ultimately, stability in your marriage. Effective therapy is fulfilling, stimulating, rewarding and even really funny at times. Invest in your marriage. It might be the best investment you ever make.
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