Hope and Trust Can Raise the Marital Dead
Written By: Mark Smith
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I love my work. I was honored to speak into the open hearts and minds of some wounded little big kids today. There were tears and lightbulbs and Ah Ha moments. As these teachable souls went back in time to embrace truths about what did and didn't happen in when they were little I could sense icey walls of judgment melt between formerly disconnected spouses. It was sweet to see these couples holding hands and supporting each other. They knew they could trust me because I spoke with the compassion and the assurance of one who has walked in their shoes. They are in for a very positive healing adventure. Their marriages will be better than fine.
I hate my work. I witnessed two marital train wrecks today. I felt helpless to help as good people I care about attacked and flailed at each other. There wasn't much to say.
I didn't fail these special souls. They didn't fail themseles or each other. They just got to me too late. Marital death is as hard to witness as physical death. I wish I could reach into their souls and instill a healing dose of safety, hope, trust and love. They just weren't ready. Skilled physicians can't always save a life. I have many times seen the spark of a proactive insight into self and childhood resurrect the maritally dead.
Your marriage is a gift. If you are loved poorly it is much more about your wounded childhod than your flawed spouse. They are supposed to suck at loving you. That is exactly why you recruited them. They are your teacher. They are on your life to drive you towards brokeness and emotional healng. It is all good. It hurts like hell but you can turn it into something healing and redemptive.
I love my work!
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