Written By: Mark Smith
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While I am still a new blogger I have figured out that the name of my blog was incredibly boring... so it shall from this day forth be known as 'Relationship Jazz', formally the name of my newspaper column.
Jazz – according to the Encarta World Dictionary, the word can mean a lot of different things. All of them, I would contend, could be applied to the understanding of relationships. It can mean (1) ‘beautiful, sensual syncopated rhythms and spontaneous musical improvisations’. Relationally that would be the magical moments of connection, communication and raw intimacy which unfortunately occur much too infrequently in most marriages. Inspiring that type of heart stopping, life-bonding music between couples will be a goal of this column.
Jazz could also mean (2) ‘stuff: unnamed related things or belongings’. I will be covering A LOT of really helpful relationship STUFF every Thursday. In the interview I informed my new editor that I had a million things that I was really excited to pontificate on. Think of this column as a free 5-minute therapy session. Grab a cup of coffee and settle in a comfortable chair as you read. Let’s cut to the chase - Are you tired of your distant, boring and listless marriage? Are others of you sick of your conflictual, strained, tense or abusive relationship? Your situation is not unusual – you are quite normal in fact. Most people do not understand #1 What the purpose of their relationship is, #2 Who they are, #3 Where they came from, #4 Who their spouse really is, #5 What their responsibilities are or #6 How to begin to fix things. I will begin to give you powerful help with issues like that beginning next week.
Jazz could also mean (3) ‘liveliness: animated enthusiasm or vivacity’. I like that. I have a great deal of passion for both my work as a marital therapist and for writing. In this column I will challenge you each week to gain a renewed liveliness, awareness and passion for your relationship.
Finally jazz can also mean (4) ‘blather: information or ideas regarded as untrue, misconceived, or misleading’. I will attempt to keep a lid on all that jazz although I might just hit a sour note from time to time. Frankly there is a lot of psychobabble being peddled out there. I will tell you what I tell my clients – hear what I have to say and then listen to your heart to see if it rings true. I truly believe that I will have a great deal to offer you each week.
Enough of that jazz for now, I first need to cover some basics about who I am, where I came from and what my purpose is in dialogue with you. I am informal, non-judgmental, self-revealing and I don’t take myself too seriously; and yet I’m also extremely direct, opinionated and even somewhat abrasive (in a nice way) when it comes to teaching about marital/relational issues. I definitely believe that the answers about our current relationships lie in digging through the rubble of past relationships – especially our relationships with those most important of all people in our histories - our parents. Reading this blog will be painful and messy – not perky, warm and fuzzy or overly simplistic. I will make a solid case for everything that I write. I am not ‘professional’ in the stuffy sense of the word, I am not out to entertain ala Dr. Phil and I am not riding some rigid religious hobbyhorse. I think that I’m reasonably funny, but I guess you’ll have to be the judge of that. I will write from my heart. My mission is to challenge you to think, to feel deeply and to learn who you are and what your relationship is trying to teach you.
Come along with me – get jazzed up - it will be real, it will be cutting, it will be fun and it just might change your life.
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