Falling In Love Is A Dangerous Thing To Do
Written By: Mark Smith
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I had a wonderful lunch with an old friend today. She is six weeks into a new relationship. She is starry eyed and feeling so good. I asked her if she was afraid. While she said yes she doesn't fully look it. Fresh love is so intoxicating. It changes your brain chemistry. It is so tasty and delicious that many times caution is tossed to the wind.
You ask me why she should be so afraid? Am I one of those overly serious, kill joy therapists who just don't want for people to be happy? I think not. Relationships are complicated, painful and fraught with a great deal of dysfunction on both parts. If you are familiar with my writing you know my theory that we are basically unconciously attracted most strongly to the most hurtful and unhealthy characteristics of our parents from childhood. That should scare the crap out of most of you! It is the truth. Objectively examine your relationship history to this point - see any patterns? Take things really slow in new relationships. Keep your wits about you. Keep your boundaries. There is no rush. Build your love slowly and wisely. Build a friendship based on intimacy, shared interests and healthy conflict resolution.
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